"You are a king, should live alone"

These reflections were inspired by a revisit to "Shaman's Laughter" and Pushkin's poem (the quote is used as the title of this post). Typically, when something becomes prominent in your consciousness, you start noticing relevant facts and ideas. As a result, this post will likely expand over time.

Throughout our lives, we rely heavily on others. Babies and children are utterly dependent on their parents, teenagers on their peers and teachers, and young adults on their professional colleagues, athletic teams, and families. As we age, our need for community engagement seems to diverge. Some older individuals completely withdraw from new connections and friendships, which require effort, and limit their interactions to close family circles. Often, they stop learning, believing they "know it all," and may adhere rigidly to their political beliefs. They somewhat seek for a community approval, but this community is limited to a very narrow trusted circle. Like Russians say: "a narrow circle of limited comrades"... I believe such individuals may have reached the end of their personal growth, living without generating their own "life juice" and relying on the emotional and physical resources of younger family members. This tendency can become stifling for relatives and often feels akin to "emotional vampirism."

In contrast, another group of people "break free" from rigid family structures and stringently aligned groups, particularly those with rigid political views.  They typicall do not seek for any external justification of their views and do not fight political battles. They may form new friendships primarily for leisure activities, no longer relying on others for essential needs and approval. They tend to avoid authoritative groups and are cognizant of the limits of their knowledge. Though they continue to learn, they do so primarily through self-guided exploration rather than following a teacher, frequently changing interests in pursuit of novelty and stimulation. They are comfortable being alone, and a significant number may undergo divorces.  This trend is underscored by the fact that people are living longer, rendering marriage and being in a couple just a stage of life. This stage is helpful to raise kids and proves necessary for many who perhaps cannot achieve wholeness without experiencing it as a couple first.

Interestingly, "Some texts of Hinduism outline four āśramas, or stages of life as individual's dharma. These are:(1) brahmacārya, the life of preparation as a student, (2) gṛhastha, the life of the householder with family and other social roles, (3) vānprastha or aranyaka, the life of the forest-dweller, transitioning from worldly occupations to reflection and renunciation, and (4) sannyāsa, the life of giving away all property, becoming a recluse and devotion to moksa, spiritual matters." (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dharma).

So, where am I going with all this? My suggestion is to view everything as subject to change. Stages in life serve specific purposes, with distinct beginnings and ends. Do not fear starting a new stage, and do not fear being alone.